Category Archives: Life Philosophies

Turning Experiences into Method Acting

A Guest Post from Emily Godhand

Back in February of this year I was able to attend to Kevin J. Anderson and Rebecca Moesta’s “SuperStars Writing Seminar” on a scholarship from Wattpad. This was a seminar to “teach you the business of being a writer” and boasted many instructors well known in the industry. I was given the opportunity to learn from individuals such as Jody Lynn Nye, Todd McCaffrey, James A. Owen, and Kevin and Rebecca themselves. And those are just the people I had the great fortune of meeting!

When I first learned I was picked for the scholarship, I was beyond excited to the point of being in actual disbelief. I felt like I had been eating a chocolate bar named Wattpad and was enjoying something pleasant and made me happy, and then suddenly I was holding a shiny golden ticket in my hand. But as happy as I was, I was so nervous I thought maybe it was a set up to a middle school joke come back to haunt me. You know the kind where someone said something positive and then laughed at you for actually believing it? That can’t just have been me, right?

Sometimes I can turn pretense into an art form and act full of grace and charm, when internally I’m screaming and shivering like a naked chihuahua about to piss itself. Factor in that crowds and hotels greatly trigger my PTSD, and I was ready to curl up in the corner, hug my knees, and rock back and forth until the world made sense again.

Within this internal cesspool of doubt and insecurity, and amidst schoolyard worries of “Will the other kids like me?” and “What if I’m not prepared enough? or worse, “What if they don’t like my story?!”, I did have those sickly feelings of hope and anticipation that this was going to be something wonderful at best, and at worst, great fodder for your writing.

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Because new experiences can be a writer’s bread and butter.

And yet, writers have a certain reputation for being reclusive and introverted, withdrawn into a world of our own making where reality is just a thing for those without imagination. It’s true, writing is hard work that takes focus and some of us need our solitude to do that. The long nights fueled by IV drip caffeine. The sweat forming at your brow from the intensity of your thinking.  Putting ass-in-chair for hours to finish that latest chapter. The incredible amount of work we put into our writing to the point that we should probably eat something. Preferably every day. And maybe even two or three times if we can afford to be away from your keyboard that long. I’m sure for some of us (…me) our core muscles are neglected to the point we’ve melted into hunched monstrosities with T-rex arms, and we haven’t seen the blessed light of day such that we shriek and cower when some well-intentioned soul opens the curtain. ((…just me?))

When I sat down to write, and I would have trouble describing something, or conveying an emotion, I was always given the advice “write what you know”. Then felt frustrated because I didn’t think I knew anything except maybe what it’s like to hide within the tiny walls of my office with just the rats and ennui for company. …And maybe also some random, dated pop-culture references. If I needed to write about characters that were self-absorbed recluses with awkward social skills and crippling self-doubt I had that down. Because that’s all I’d ever know unless I faced my anxiety as much as was healthy and explored the world around me.  By not seeking out new experiences, especially challenging ones, I was limiting what I knew, and therefore limiting what I could write about.

I figured, I spend countless hours pretending to be individuals who face their fears and the unknown, so surely, truly, I could learn a little from method acting and borrow some of the character’s strength to be able to go to this seminar. And if I couldn’t and ended up numb and dumb with fear and anxiety? I write thrillers and horror stories. I could certainly make use of those feelings in my work.

I was fooling myself if I ever thought I could glean the secrets of the universe to translate onto pages by doing the same routine every day. I’m a human being first, and human beings tend to crave variety and novelty. Writing is hard enough, but it’s hard to write believably about things you haven’t seen or experienced.

When I needed to describe 16th Street Mall in downtown Denver, I put on some pants, left the house, and went to downtown Denver. I needed to know more than what it looked like, and I had the opportunity to learn. The pictures I found online were stunning, but photographers are known for getting the best shots of a place. It’d be the difference between your wedding photos and waking up to your partner in the morning. There’s a different type of beauty in authenticity.

2006-07-14-Denver_Skyline_MidnightWhat, it doesn’t always look like this?

The staged photos in the best light may not convey the actual feeling of being there: the noises, the smells, the weather, the conversations, the dress, the atmosphere. When I did go downtown, I witnessed a dirgesinger get heckled by buskers who broke into Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy”. I got to speak to the buskers about their experiences and see how many artists were on the street. I couldn’t have done any of that from my house, and while it may not have made a significant difference in the overall plot of my story, those tiny details weren’t unnoticed by my readers, and contributed to their immersion in the story.

In that particular chapter there were several twists and turns and horror elements, but the realistic description of downtown Denver was what really hooked my readers. They also had comments on something else they liked, sure, but nearly every single person commented on the description of downtown Denver.

* The way you discuss Denver, it really comes to life and makes elements like the “prophet” even creepier.

* I love the way you describe Denver. You completely capture that downtown urban feel. The characters you create are all rich and vivid.

* I’ve never been to Denver. 16th Street sounds amazing.

* Sounds like a really neat downtown area, very artistically stimulating.

* Gotta say I loved the downtown scene, with the preacher and the singers. It kind of eased off the tension for a moment and painted a vivid picture of things that make the city unique.

….Success!

Still, it’s one thing to do something as simple as go downtown in my own city and simply report what I found there. It’s another to use my own experiences and feelings to empathize with my character and convey what they are feeling, especially if they are painful or negative.

When I had to do this with my main character’s recovery from her trauma and the first month of her PTSD, it was like finding that mental storage closet where you had shoved all your memories. And as your hand hovers over the knob, you’re not sure if some musty linens are going to fall on your head, or if they’re going to have every crawling, putrid thing topple down with them.

It was probably the hardest thing I ever had to write because it felt like tearing open an infected wound to clean it. Yet I would say it is also probably the truest expression of my own voice since for the most part I just told how I felt and my own experiences, and put those words in my character’s mouth.

This particular scene received the most praise out of all 60+ chapters (as of this writing).

* I can feel Annie’s sense of desperation to understand what happened, and her frustration at the world for wanting her to figure it out too fast.

*  I can really feel Annie’s confusion, distress, her anger and frustration. My favourite part by far was her speech to the psychiatrist. Although I really hated him, he was written well.

* The psychology of grief and trauma came across as very genuine. The feeling of loss over someone’s death rarely manifests itself directly, at least not until years after the event.

* I think anyone who reads this is going to be able to feel the pain Annie is going through right now, and the way you’ve described her trying to cope is heartbreaking. I think this is probably one of your best chapters as far as the use of language goes, and I feel bad for Annie’s mom too… Just trying to help but she has no idea how. 🙁

So, how did things go at the Superstars Writing Seminar? Next time you read a piece by me about a character finding acceptance and understanding with a group when she was afraid of rejection, you’ll know.

About the Author:Author
Emily Godhand is a paranormal thriller author who lives in a book fort in Denver, CO, with seven rats who revere her as their Queen.

As former psychiatric technician, she draws her inspirations from her work and the constant nightmares she’s had for 13 years. As such, her works tend to focus on an exploration of trauma, immortality, and human consciousness.

Read her latest work on Wattpad, where she is an Ambassador.

Commonalities in our Journey

A Guest Post by Abby Goldsmith

When Nathan Barra asked me to write a guest post about why I write fiction, I hesitated.  It’s a good question, and one that I haven’t pondered in years.  I’ve been stuck in a rut.  Not writer’s block, but paralytic self-doubt, questioning everything about why I chose to pour so much of my life into a career as a novelist.  I’ve watched others rise from amateur to best-seller within less than half the time I’ve been struggling to get my novel series published.  I lag behind most of my peers, editing and rewriting and editing and rewriting.  I’m in danger of becoming a bitter, grizzled veteran.

Self-doubt is a cornerstone of every novelist’s life, I think.  When I talk to other aspiring novelists, I hear commonalities in our journey.  Most of us grew up with a love of reading.  Most of us received praise from readers who adored our stories.  Most of us bashed our heads against the harsh realities of the publishing industry, which seems to be shrinking from corporate mergers.  From there, our paths diverge in two directions.  Either we give up and quit writing novels, or we get published and continue onwards.

My path feels like the most extreme version of that.  Rather than hiking a trail towards success, I’m navigating a storm-tossed sea, hurled about by towering tidal waves.  The praise I receive is enough for a lifetime.  My failures are EPIC.  As for the part where I either get published or quit . . . I’m sailing between those routes, unable to get my novels traditionally published, unable to give up and quit.  I’m preparing to self-publish a completed six-book-series, and I’m nearly paralyzed with the fear that it will all go wrong.

Most people, even committed writers, don’t base every major decision of their life around the dream of becoming a bestselling author.  I suspect that most of my peers would have quit after more than decade of setbacks.  Why am I so driven?

Childhood.  That’s surely where most addictions and personality disorders form, and I suspect it correlates with dysfunctional families.  I won’t detail how troubled my childhood was.  Suffice it to say, I needed an escape.  So I walked for hours, listening to music, inwardly cheering as my characters delivered justice to their enemies, or proved their worth to those who doubted them.  Stories were my only way to feel powerful and in control.  That feeling was better than anything I could get elsewhere.  I was addicted.

By the age of twelve, I’d completed two novels, a series of short stories, and a trilogy of comic books.  A literary agent working with Random House, unaware that I was a child, read my first manuscript and sent a scathing rejection letter, including the phrase, “It sounds like a mentally challenged person wrote this.”  Upon learning my age, she offered to edit my manuscript and promote me as a child author, but I’d already taken her first letter to heart.  I decided that my stories were unfit to be shared with anyone.  They collected dust in shoeboxes.

In college, two of my student films were selected out of hundreds for special recognition, and received high praise in international film festivals.  I began a promising career as an animator.  With my confidence boosted, I dared to share chapters of a potential novel with an online critique group.  Their reactions astounded me.  Everyone in the group wanted to read more.  They tore each other’s work to shreds, and rightfully so, but my work was exceptional.

After years of being ashamed of my writing skill, I reversed direction all at once.  A dam burst.  Within the space of one year, I completed a 520,000 word manuscript, a 59,000 word manuscript between drafts of the big one, and an unfinished 70,000 word novel.  My boyfriend thought they were amazing.

Still worried that my skill was amateur, I asked for readers with trepidation.  Part of me expected scathing rejections.  Instead, I received a flood of support and praise that changed my life, and affects me to this day.

A programmer in New Zealand read all my manuscripts, and said, “SEND MORE!”  A teenager in Norway did the same, telling me that he’d missed classes to read them under his desk at school.  A woman I never met emailed me to say, “Whatever gift for storytelling exists, you have it.”  The artist of my favorite web comic offered to endorse my novels, after reading.  A coworker at my office tentatively agreed to try the big one.  He began reading it in his cubicle.  The next day at work, he said, “I got no sleep.  I stayed up all night turning pages!  You’ll have no trouble getting published, so stop worrying.”

And I did.  From that point forth, I’ve considered myself a talented storyteller, although my prose and craft needed seasoning, and there are always aspects where I can improve.  Literary agencies and publishers rejected those early manuscripts due to the usual bouquet of amateur issues:  Point of view head hopping, passive voice overused, weak verbiage, and other problems that are familiar to career-minded writers.

To improve my craft, I went to the Odyssey Writing Workshop.  George R.R. Martin liked the first chapter of my big novel, Catherine Asaro privately praised my short story, and I felt as if my skill would leap ahead light years after all I learned from editor Jeanne Cavelos.  Encouraged, I scrapped the 520,000 manuscript and rewrote it from scratch, as two separate novels.  They’ve each been whittled down to the 90,000 to 105,000 word range.

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I wish I could say that all that effort led to success.  It hasn’t.  At least, not yet.  The massive rewrite deadened the beginning, and I’ve had a hellish time trying to get it to appeal to the traditional publishing industry.  On top of that, I’m no longer the same person who wrote the original rough draft.  Fifteen years have passed.  I believe I understand why epic saga authors, such as Patrick Rothfuss, struggle to finish.  When a story has the weight of a magnum opus … when it feels too massive to do it justice … when the task requires decades of your personal life … well, I can only speak for myself, but there’s a damned lot of pressure to get it right.  A project that huge only happens once.  Humans don’t live long enough, or have enough energy, to do it twice.

I will write other novels.  I have other big stories to tell, after I publish this series (the first two books are the rewritten rough draft from fifteen years ago).  But this epic will always be more special to me than any others.  It’s the story that began in my teens, and spanned my twenties and thirties.  It’s the one that shaped the course of my life.

I write because I believe in my power to tell stories that amaze people, and leave them to reevaluate their world-views.

 

About the Author:Author
Stories and articles by Abby Goldsmith are published in Escape Pod, Fantasy Magazine, Suddenly Lost in Words, and several anthologies. She’s sitting on six unpublished novels, preparing for an epic debut. http://abbygoldsmith.com

 

Fan to Writer: An Online Meeting with Rowling Herself

A Guest Post by J.J. Bennett

Back in 2001, I had knee surgery. Looking back now, I’d say that it changed my life. It was December and a friend suggested I read the Harry Potter books to pass the time being stuck in the house while I was healing. I’d always loved reading, but it seemed silly to be reading children’s literature as an adult. My friend assured me that it was just what the doctor ordered.

My husband read aloud day and night to the family and I and we became some of Rowling’s biggest fans. I spent time on chat boards dreaming up what the next book would hold and how it would play out. The site I frequented was HPANA, a site which was one of the first out there for all things Harry Potter. I lived on that site for years. As a stay at home mom, it was one of the only things I had as an outlet.

On a certain day, I was posting on a board when someone started giving all kinds of strange information not included in any of the books thus far. I couldn’t imagine how this person was getting all this crazy information. This was just six months before The Half Blood Prince came out and this other poster was telling me to think about the relationship Snape had with Lilly. All I could think about was what relationship? I quickly posted asking how on earth this person got this information and where they could document such a thing when a moderator messaged me that I was speaking with Rowling herself.

From then on I realized how writers could interact with their fans online and how stories could become deeply engrained in people and I loved it. As time moved forward and Harry Potter ended, I still frequented the site and became friends with a young man who had many of the same interests I did. It was this young man who became my inspiration as a main character to my story. Without the entertainment of Harry Potter, I yearned to fill that void in my life and found it by writing my own work.

My oldest daughter became engrossed with the Twilight scene and explained that I really needed to read the series. My husband wasn’t too keen on the idea of spending the last two weeks of his summer vacation with his wife buried in books. So again, he said he would read them aloud so we could spend time together. The writing wasn’t the best ever, but the connection Meyers had with her audience was strong and I could relate with that. It was then, that I felt like if Meyer could do it, then why couldn’t I?

After my father was diagnosed with cancer, he made me promise him that I would finish my novel. I knew I couldn’t go back on any promise I made him and after he passed away, I knew it was time to get serious and worked hard to learn as much as possible about writing. I started blogging, creating a social media presence and followed key internet master, agent, and writer Nathan Bransford. I followed trends, read as much as I could and started going to writing conferences in San Francisco to meet Bransford himself.

I looked to my home state of Utah for more support and quickly found other writers like myself. I found inspiration while working in a middle school library buying books for students, writing grants for new programs, and creating relationships with kids who I felt a strong connection with. I enjoyed my time there and I felt like I had something to offer them and became excited to share my story with others.

In 2010 I had my youngest child. I was torn between wanting to spend my time writing and being a mother to a new baby. I felt like this challenge was given to me for a reason and made the choice to put my writing on the back burner until my little girl was older and in school. I’m not a person to half-ass anything I do. So, the best option for me was to move forward with things I could do from home. During this time I’d been raising four kids and running a household with a husband who worked out of state. Much of my time has been lived like a single parent juggling kid’s schedules and projects between writing conferences where I now found myself helping other writers through a group/website I founded called The Authors’ Think Tank. Hosting podcasts, blogging, and traveling to events started taking up much of my time and I started wondering if I’d ever finish what I started with my novel/series.

I took a leap of faith and a wad of cash in March of 2014 and paid Michealbrent Collings to do some editing work for me. That was really hard sending off that MS. That was the longest two weeks of my life. After getting the edits back, I wondered if I should even keep on writing and I took six months to let things percolate inside my brain.  Doubt and frustration in myself grew and I didn’t know where to start editing when I had over 450 comments to tend to absorbing and adjusting from. Plot issues abounded and I knew even after I handled the comments, I still would have a monumental task ahead of me.

Currently I’m deep in edits. I’ve put together a marketing team and have a group of people ready to support me once I’m done. I have an agent who is ready to look at it when it’s ready and a family eager to support me. I have one year till my daughter is in school and I look forward to what the next part of my life will hold. It’s been a long road (as many describe) to publication which I haven’t yet obtained.  Patience and development are needed in this field. I’m okay with that. Hell, it took Harry Potter seven books to finally defeat Voldemort!  No story without trial is a good one. My advice to any writer is this—Stop looking at other writers and comparing yourself. Your story is not like another’s. Some stories take more time than others. That’s okay. The important thing is to keep moving forward. You’ll get there.

About the Author:Author
Jennifer Bennett or J.J. Bennett has worked as content manager for Wise Scholar and writer for Zyndio, and online marketing firm. She has published articles by Ind’Tale magazine and numerous guest blogger posts in the writing community on the topic of writing and social media. Jennifer founded The Authors’ Think Tank which has grown to over 1500 writers and authors including many New York Times Best Selling Authors in all genres. These authors as well as Jennifer, contribute to both the website and podcast. She currently is working on her YA novel titled “The Path.”.

Finding Inspiration in the Writing Life

Writing is hard, lonely, and often underappreciated work. Authors spend years, if not decades, practicing and perfecting our craft with the hopes of someday being deemed “publishable.” Each year, thousands of aspiring authors risk ego and scathing rejection for the chance to see their name in print. Most fail and give up. After all, walking away from the dream is easier and less painful than going on.

However, the truth is that there is only one person that can end the journey from novice to pro. Published authors aren’t victors, but rather they are survivors. They are those who have risked, been rejected, and stood back up to go another round. Whether traditionally or independently published, authors and hopefuls alike need to be constantly putting themselves out into the world. We need to attend conventions and seminars to network and learn. We need to keep writing, submitting and resubmitting until the popcorn starts popping. Most importantly, we need to remember why we chose this path in the first place. It is that self-awareness that will keep us sitting down in front of the keyboard.

Though we have spoken extensively on business and writer’s craft here on the Fictorians, few of us have gone into our raison d’être. Largely that is because those experiences are deeply personal and often painful. However, the industry isn’t getting any easier. So, this month, we’ll talk about our motivations and inspirations with the hopes of sharing our strength and experiences with each other and with y’all.

I write because I believe in the power of fiction. To tell stories is to be human. Even our most ancient ancestors painted stories on the walls of caves so the exploits of great hunts and mythic figures could be shared with the future. Stories provide comfort and companionship to the weary and those in pain. They excite and invigorate the bored, and provide a safe place for the tormented or insecure to seek answers to the greater questions of life. Through books, we are able to live another life, experience another’s thoughts, and have sympathy for types of people with whom we may never interact. Our stories allow us to reach well beyond ourselves and help or inspire others.

I have heard some of these stories, and so know the power of fiction first hand.

Because of fiction, soldiers earn purple hearts by jumping on grenades to save the lives of their comrades.

Because of fiction, teen aged girls leave an abusive home with nothing more than a backpack of clothes and a single beloved book.

Because of fiction, a young man found hope in the midst of depression.

Fiction has power because we as authors feed our energy, the product of our imaginations, and the strength of our beliefs and convictions into the stories. However, for that world changing fiction to exist in the first place, we must understand ourselves well enough to know that we can never give up on the dream.

About the Author:NathanBarra_Web
Though Nathan Barra is an engineer by profession, training and temperament, he is a storyteller by nature and at heart. Fascinated with the byplay of magic and technology, Nathan is drawn to science fantasy in both his reading and writing. He has been known, however, to wander off into other genres for “funzies.” Visit him at his webpage or Facebook Author Page.