Category Archives: Life Philosophies

The Monster Mash: Writing Sex Scenes, Part One

A guest post by Joshua Essoe.

This is an intimidating subject, and one I think many authors have a lot of questions about. Should the characters indulge in a little horizontal refreshment? Do they or don’t they? Should I or shouldn’t I?

In loving someone else, we really do discover things about ourselves. The act of sex opens up all kinds of emotional territory for us, and it’s great to show characters discovering themselves through their physical loving of one another.

First, let’s decide if your story needs a love scene. Just like any other scene, ideally, it should do three things–advance the plot, show character progression, and turn you on . . . I mean entertain. If the sex can reveal character, or advance plot, or increase tension, you should consider including a little limb mingling in your story. Especially if the genre encourages it.

I read an awesome quote from Delilah S. Dawson who writes the Blud series:

“Remember in Mallrats, where they were doing the dating show, and the suitors were asked if their kisses were like a soft breeze, a firm handshake, or a jackhammer? Gil answered, “Definitely a jackhammer, I’m in there with some pressure and when I’m done, you’re not the same as before. You’re changed.” And we laughed, because he was a douche. But your sex scene should be like that: it should move the story forward and somehow affect the characters emotionally. Maybe the hero learns to open up, maybe the heroine decides she wants to be more aggressive in her real life, maybe they’re just having what they think is a last fling before a giant orc battle. But it has to mean something, or else it’s just porn.”

So here are some things to consider:

A) Is a character’s personal life necessary to the story?

B) Should the sex be explicit or implied?

C) What genre is it for?

Each genre is going to cook the meat and potatoes a different way, and have different expectations and limitations. Do your research and find out what is required, and what is prohibited. Keep in mind that just because a story has a sex scene in it, it doesn’t make it erotica any more than an action story becomes a romance because there is a romantic relationship in it.

Sex scenes and romances are all about the tension. They’re about building that moment that readers are waiting for. That moment where one thing turns to another. That first kiss after all those “innocent” touches, or all that longing. It’s that slow build to that first moment where the clothes finally come off, or the first time that one character finally admits that they love the other. The buildup is where it’s at. That’s what’s interesting and engaging. The reward of the actual kiss, or the I-love-you, or the sex is nice, but it means little without the buildup of characters and those characters’ desires. Wine and dine your readers before taking them home. Everybody enjoys some foreplay.

Terry Goodkind did a masterful job of creating romantic tension in his first few Sword of Truth books. We really wanted Kahlan and Richard to get together just as much as we were invested in the central conflict being resolved. When they finally kiss and when they finally get together, however briefly, it is immensely satisfying.

Another excellent lesson from that series is that the tension of their love affair decreased exponentially with each new book that kept them apart. With the repetitive pulling apart and coming back together, it became frustrating. You can’t be a one-trick pony, no matter how good that trick is; you have to show your readers new problems, give them new conflicts. There’s only so long readers will be willing to wait, and only so much they’ll be able to stand before getting frustrated or bored and putting your story down.

You have to keep up the cycle of tension, but it has to be fresh tension.

So, okay, the characters really do need to do the pickle tickle. It’s necessary to the story, okay? How do you handle it?

Unless the tone and mood calls for it, unless the characters and the story call for it, don’t be needlessly crass. There are plenty of ways to describe things, and use implied information to inform your readers of exactly what is going on.

In one sci-fi manuscript I read, the writer plunged me into gratuitous sex scene after gratuitous sex scene with no build-up or tonal foreshadowing, and seemingly without purpose besides the writer’s desire to write raunchy sex scenes. It was like having a picnic on a cloudless day that abruptly begins raining frogs on you. It didn’t make sense and was quite jarring.

Language is important. The specific words you use are important. Don’t write a book that has a little flirtation, and then jump into a chapter where one character is practically raping another. Don’t abstain from using any harsh language, and then use all the filthiest words you can come up with when you get to your sex scene. Your story needs consistency and everything must be set up so that you are appropriately managing your readers’ expectations.

Tone is important, but don’t be afraid to have a funny sex scene either. Coming-of-age sex scenes, for example, could be just as much about the humor in the awkwardness as it is about that life-changing event for the characters. You can still do funny, and tender, and sexy all in one scene if you want. Life is nuanced, and so should your sex scenes be.

In part two, we’ll take a deeper poke at how far to go, tropes, and character penetration. Until then, don’t write anything you’ll regret in the morning.

Joshua EssoeAbout Joshua Essoe:

Joshua Essoe is a full-time, freelance editor. He’s done work for best-seller David Farland, including the multi-award winning novel, Nightingale; Dean Lorey, lead writer of Arrested Development; best-seller, James Artimus Owen; and numerous Writers of the Future authors and winners, as well as many top-notch independents. He is currently the copy editor at Urban Fantasy Magazine.

Together with tie-in writer Jordan Ellinger, indie success-story, Michael J. Sullivan, and traditionally published author and NY Times best-seller, Debbie Viguie, he records the weekly writing podcast Hide and Create

When not editing . . . ha ha, a joke. He was a 2014 finalist in the Writers of the Future contest, and lives with his wife, and three horrible cats near UCLA.

Threads in a Tapestry

A guest post by Victoria Morris.

When I think about characters and the relationships between them, I see a vast colorful representation of the story Im trying to create.  People, emotions, gifts, and flaws all trying to balance together on the edge of something amazing, if I can weave them all together.

Its all very much like a tapestry for me, only I use words, character traits, and behaviors to weave my story instead of threads. Relationships and each characters strengths, weaknesses, reactions and experiences creating the storys overall tone and feel, are like the color and types of thread weavers use to bring a tapestry to life on a loom. Every connection is important. And all of them have different markers, and identities.

Each of these characters, and single threads of my woven picture can be defined symbolically the same: color, thickness, strength, positioning within the pattern.  Whether it has corse, or fine build.  What it is that connects them to their surroundings, the place in the image on the tapestry, and setting in a story.

Every thread has its own story, very like a character in a novel.  A characters backstory — the sum total of his experiences and how he reacts or is forced to react are the shades of those colors that create the same feel as the words an author chooses to illustrate with.  The shades of color can equal the genre or tone of the writing. If the characters been jaded, the colors are stormy or dark. Grays are prevalent. But if the story is an upbeat, happy one, those shades become much whiter, much brighter.

On the loom, the heart of the picture or tapestry, joins the single thread to other single threads.  At first, nothing much is visible in the weaving.  A bland line not connected to the wall, that seems shapeless as well as mundane.  But then something happens.  Forms start to emerge. Nothing begins to look like something. By sprinkling in some love, adding a dash of creativity, and a sudden burst of magic, the resulting mixture forms something fantastic.

I almost always have feeling first, when I come to the loom of my writing tapestry.  That feeling is represented in different ways, but usually first by color.  Light or dark permeate my thoughts, as the character builds him or herself into my minds eye.  From that color, I extrapolate other important data, the relationships with other characters new or as yet unknown begin to show themselves.  Its here in this step I sense a lot of who my characters are as people.  What do they care about? What would they give everything for? Whom do they loveand why?

I interview them, and as they answer these questions and others, their shape appears.  And with color and shape, I begin to see what it is that is unique to them, what it is that only they can bring to the story.

At the loom, separate threads soon expand to thick sections. Patterns emerge that can help an onlooker begin to understand whats happening.  Perhaps the sky has now appeared,  or a rushing waterfall can be seen in the forming image.  Huge chunks are missing, the perspective is not yet clear, but some of it is there, and its enough to know that each piece is special.

Here is where the reader is going to see me become animated, and excited. I know the players now.  I see them, and I care deeply for them.  Sometimes I care so much that they begin to haunt my dreams, sending me stories inside the story.  I always write them down, because almost always they lead to more of the magic.  Dream tales are the clues I need to know that my heart is truly vested in these people. And in their greater project. Now, I need to know where theyre going to take me.

And to do that, each character has to bring something of value to the table.  Something important that will move this work forward on its projected path. The job of prominent main characters, or even the seldom seen ones, is to make sure the scenes move expertly woven in, so they can bring a zap of inspiration when least expected.

Its in secondary and tertiary characters that I like to deepen the imagery with.  They fill in the blanks, and liven up the view. The story perspective widens, and everyone coming along for the ride, can see what I see.  Together with the main character, be it their best friend, their spouse however the story is being told each character combines their colors, differences, strengths, loves, and weaknesses, to make the grand picture stand out.  Just like when the weaver adds in the next sections of color, building up the scene with each new thread.

When our weaver sits back from their work, having spent many hours staring at single threads, small sections, grafting in a bigger picture.  Theyll notice the image as a whole.  Our weaver will see their mistakes.  Smile at their favorite sections.  Maybe theyll nod at the parts they like the best.  They may even tear sections out to reweave, retouching in places to make sure the colors blend well, so the scene comes to life.

Putting all of our hearts into our own work really shows here.  Every weaver has a personal story that carries into the piece.  Each of us have things that excite usinspire us.  People whom we love that enter our works be it by thoughtful intention or subconscious message.  I truly believe every part of us comes to bear when we sit down and tell our story.

Creating good character composition and interaction is a specialized art, very much like a weaver at their loom.  Making people come alive on paper, capable of eliciting emotion from a reader by that characters actions and reactions is a true gift, and a tough job all-in-one.

We as writers weave our darlings every single day, one sentence one thread at a time.  We take all the things we know, all the emotions we have, all the colors in our rainbow, and we push them through a loom of chapters, page breaks, and revisions to let the Tapestry in our minds eye come to life.

As an artist, I love being able to see my characters in living color, and I can create them visually in simple pencil sketches to surround and inspire me as the hard weaving work of actual writing progresses.  I think we All have something special in our tool box that helps us do this.   

When the loom lies quiet this last time, the onlooker sees the image of a woman with her hand outstretched pulling a drowning man to safety from the raging waterfall that had been visible near the beginning. Within that first perspective, and very little emotion invested, a viewer would see only water.  But now, looking down, they see a life-saving gesture.  And they are filled with the emotion that the weaver brought to their work.  They are thrilled. They are relieved. They are happy, or sad.  They hold onto their childs hand tighter, feeling a rush of intensity that the water alone would not have given.  The story in this work, couldnt tell itself without those first threads, just as it couldnt without the middle or the last ones.   It takes time, love, patience, and more time, for the final vision to emerge.  Just as it takes to give each written character and story, life and breath with words.

Each of our stories will grow, form, and find their way.  Some of the greatest tools a writer or a weaver possesses, are patience and tenacity.  And greater still, a love so strong and compelling in each of our hearts to work creatively at all.  All of us here are word-weavers.  And as such, we all have threads of imagination, and stretches of story on our own personal looms.  I love seeing each character and story start with beginning perspectives of single thread ideas, get woven into the intricate Tapestries we each can and will create.

victoriaMorrisAbout Victoria Morris: 

Victoria lives on the edge of a mysty magical forest in the Pacific Northwest with one husband, two daughters, a big white dog and one huge resident bald eagle that likes to circle over her house when she brings in the groceries. A lifelong artist and not quite as long writer, Victoria is building a universe inside her head that has taken form in a six book fantasy series, with a middle grade trilogy on the side. While illustrating the world and all its characters is always on her mind, she draws portraits in her spare time to relax. Find out more here.

Do You Wanna Know What Love Is? Do You Want Me To Show You?

Some like it hot. Others just plain don’t like it, hot or cold. I could either be talking about oatmeal or love. Unfortunately, we couldn’t figure out a month’s worth of posts about oatmeal, so we opted for love.

But not just any old love. Complicated love. Confusing love. Forbidden love. Exhausting love. Unique love. Carnie love. Maybe not carnie love, but maybe someone should start talking about it, gosh darn it, because love is love! And while we have our individual experiences, we share one thing: we’ve all been touched by it. How we’ve been touched by it is a whole ‘nuther conversation.

But we’re about to have that conversation. How can you make love between two characters unique? Should you or should you not marry your cat? How do you reach outside your own experience to create unique, surprising love between characters?  How can you get that guy to stop stalking you? We hope to answer most of these questions this month.

You can look forward to posts from all of your favorite bloggers, along with special guest posts by author Lisa Mangum, her talented filmmaker husband Tracy Mangum, Cthulhu convert and author Stephan McLeroy, aspiring author and illustrator Victoria Morris, and editor/hair god Joshua Essoe. Join us as we celebrate love and relentlessly pound the crap out of it this month!

Hidden in a Dash

A guest post by VICTORIA MORRIS.

grave-stone

There’s an oblong granite stone just behind a wrought iron fence. You can’t see it clearly unless you walk around the gate. Continue through the hallowed ground until you’re standing just to the left of the gatehouse, under the shade of a hundred year-old weeping willow lending relief from the day.

There are three names on that headstone. The first two, on either end, aren’t similar in any way.   The numbers beneath the names are as different as the names themselves. But what is carved between them, binds them all together.

We’ve all seen grave stones. They bear cherished titles: Beloved wife, sister, mother, grandmother. Written just below the name are years. In this case, 1927 ~ 2007.

Have you ever pondered what is really being said in that short last phrase? It isn’t the day of birth and the day of death that tell the story. It’s the dash between them.

Hidden inside that one mark, is a lifetime. All the choices and the entire world of that person. Every joy and every sorrow. Every minute of every day that became the pages of her life.

Changes happened. She grew up during the great depression. She helped work on a farm, and she made sure that she, her little brother, and sister all made it to school. Then she married at fifteen. And promptly sent her brand new husband off to fight in World War 2.

More changes came. He almost didn’t come home when a bullet found his chest, and death swarmed all around him. If a member of his troop hadn’t seen him just barely pointing to his own pocket, to where the rain slicker each of them kept was held, they would have left him in their retreat. Instead, they would use that thin plastic to carry him off the still engaged battlefield. Had they not, children never would have been born.

But he did come home. And their choices together added more pages to their story.

They tried and failed at a few things. But they didn’t give up. They kept on moving, together.

They changed their scenery, moving from the farm into a little white house on an island, where they raised their family of ten children.

The story of the life goes on, adding more chapters. Many more years. Many more joys and happy days. Along with ones that brought tears. All of this, happening during that dash chiseled in a few skillful taps into a white-gray granite.

We all face trials, joys, choices, successes, and failures in life. It’s how we choose to view them, that determines how we classify them and how we embrace, rather than resist them, that helps to make our life great.

Sometimes, it’s within the trials and errors that we find the paths to the greatest joys. Who among the writers here, hasn’t found inspiration by changing the scenery. Inspired images come raining down in the shower, that moments before were no where near existing. And you have to rush to dry off to get them all onto paper. Found the answer to a perplexing scene where you least expected. Located the keys in the last place you looked.

Great inventions nearly always happen that way. Penicillin, capable of saving and helping a life, first existed as mold on a piece of bread. But someone looked at that moldy bread differently, and saw the flash of an idea.

Plot twists change the way we see things. One thousand ways to not make a light bulb happened, before the light bulb did.

Losing something worth everything can be the hardest place to start again. But if you have the courage to begin again, perhaps some of your greatest yet-to-bes, are waiting for you there.

Changes kept happening for that couple. He passed away the day after their 49th anniversary. Cancer finally taking him, after the bullet that stayed in his lung the rest of his life couldn’t.

She mourned him. But before too long, another man crossed her path. Having dealt with his own dash, life had been hard. He didn’t smile much. He spoke with a very soft voice, if at all. But she showed him how to smile. And in showing him, found a joy she’d never experienced before, even in a life-long love.

Then cancer came again. And twice, she had to bury that love.

We all face things that seem insurmountable. Troubles, illness, job losses, moves to places unknown. Things that will shape our stories. But we have the power to choose how that new shape looks. We have the opportunity to turn the unknown into the greatest thing that will ever happen, just by deciding to see it that way in the beginning.

She mourned a second time. This time in a completely different way.   She was so sad that she had to choose where to go, whom to lie beside when her time came.   Until she realized, she didn’t have to choose between them.   She felt she needed to share it with her family, but not a single one of them objected to her idea.

She moved her first husband to lie at her left. Her second would be buried to her right. Leaving the space between them for herself. Connected to them both in death, the loves of her life.

She spent her last years happy. Even though the pain of losing each of them was always with her, the joy that each had given surrounded her completely. There nearly wasn’t a day on her wipe board calendar that did not celebrate a birthday of someone close.

Then the day came when she was laid to rest between her two loves, and her dash was chiseled.   Though there were many many tears, there was even more laughter. Because if there was one consistent thing about her, my grandmother knew how to laugh.

A different outcome on that Okinawa battlefield would have caused an enormous difference in my life. I’m very thankful for those men that stopped and looked, so very far away and long ago. Without their bravery in the face of an ongoing destructive force, my mother would have never been born. Without her, me.   A scary choice faced them when they stopped for one wounded soldier, not unlike some of choices we ourselves face today.

That headstone is complete now. It stands as a quiet memorial of three lives that influenced my own deeply. My grandfather was an artist and a poet, my grandmother the first to show me what music could do for the soul. My second grandpa, who came and left too quickly for me to get to love deep enough, but to whom I am forever grateful for giving grandma so much joy. There, behind that wrought iron fence, shaded by that willow. Even though I don’t get to visit it very often, the symbol of those words and dashes and the stories they hold are always with me.

Every story deserves its chance to be told. Don’t be afraid to share the failures along with the successes. Don’t steer clear of the hard choices you may face, if you can imagine a different way of seeing through them.

Each choice, every chance, is one more way to learn if the vision of your life can work. And even if it’s not how you pictured it the first time, you may find something you never knew was there. And that something might very well change your dash forever.

victoriaMorrisVictoria Morris Bio: Victoria lives on the edge of a mysty magical forest in the Pacific Northwest with one husband, two daughters, a big white dog and one huge resident bald eagle that likes to circle over her house when she brings in the groceries. A lifelong artist and not quite as long writer, Victoria is building a universe inside her head that has taken form in a six book fantasy series, with a middle grade trilogy on the side. While illustrating the world and all its characters is always on her mind, she draws portraits in her spare time to relax. Find out more here.