Category Archives: Life Philosophies

Goals vs. Objectives – Who is Really In Control?

Balancing Acts Goals Living Deliberately Motivation Nathan Barra Reflection Self-Awareness The Writing Life Work-Life Balance No Comments

“No battle plan survives contact with the enemy.” ~Helmuth von Moltke

I am highly motivated by progress and will often get frustrated when I feel like I am spinning my wheels in a task. This probably explains my penchant for lists. I know that I’m not the only one who gets a sense of satisfaction by drawing a bold stroke through a particularly challenging line item. However, I have found that it is all too easy to focus on the list itself and forget that it exists to serve my objectives. Recently, I’ve put a lot of thought and effort into living a purposeful life, driving towards and realizing my objectives to the best of my abilities. Through trial and error, I have found that the key to effective progress is self-aware honesty, maintaining a life balance, and having the courage to change course when results do not line up with what was intended when I set my goals.

The first step to living deliberately is to determine what you truly want out of life. There are countless voices in the world, some benevolent and others selfish, that seek to guide our desires. Many people never look past what society, advertising agencies and our loved ones tell us we want. If they are happy that way, all the better for them. It takes work to quiet all the voices and achieve the self-awareness necessary to decide what you really want free from the influence of others.

Once your objectives are set, it takes practice to be able to manage all the distractions and necessities that the world demands of us. Though there are a thousand obligations competing for our time and attention, many things that we view as “essential” can actually be minimized or eliminated entirely. It is a matter of understanding one’s priorities. Once you achieve the self-awareness to determine your life’s objectives, sorting the essential from the non-essential becomes much easier.

Finally, I have found it necessary to be proactive in evaluating and adjusting my goals. Though it is easy to simply stay the course until things start to fall apart, it is a much less effective strategy than taking time periodically to honestly evaluate the results of my efforts. If a course of action isn’t working, isn’t supporting my objectives, there is nothing holding me to them. Try to make a change and see what effects come. I look at it like sailing by the stars. Having a heading does no good if you don’t look up every so often.

I started out my blogging year with the Fictorians by describing the system we use to set annual goals at work. Though I stand by the idea that goals should be SMART (specific, measurable, actionable, realistic and time bound), I have come to realize that they need to be adaptable as well. Action is not progress unless my objectives are being achieved. Therefore, goals should be designed and maintained to support objectives, not the other way around.

Identify Yourself

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A Guest Post by Anton T. Russell

In this writing game, the whole literary world and all that, I’ve listened to many discussions and have read many articles on the subject of being an author vs. writer vs. novelist … etcetera. For the life of me, I couldn’t find the title that best identified me. Many others involved in the discussions also could not quite agree on where they stood.

Since I’m not a bestseller, or widely known, finding a measure of success was very difficult for me, as I didn’t have those good days where I sold X amount of copies. As a result, I had always thought I was failing. I mean, really … I had just published a book and was also contracted by a publisher. Surely I could do better than that.

Uh, no. Write it and they will read it? Yeah, that wasn’t working out the way I had planned it. Clear failure, right?

It wasn’t until I talked with some trusted friends that I was able to understand that I wasn’t failing. Oh, they didn’t tell me what to look at, or how to measure my efforts. All they did was have that same ole discussion about being an author vs. writer vs. novelist … etcetera, and I was actually a part of it. Then it hit me.

I am a storyteller.

Beginning—plot twist—middle—plot twist—plot twist—end, and any other formula you’ve heard can be thrown in. It’s part of why I call it, “The Writing Game.” But that’s a-whole-nother-topic.

At any rate, by defining myself, I can now measure my successes and failures. See, I know where I stand, what I’m trying to accomplish. And let me tell you; I can pen one helluva story. That’s how I determine my successes, of course. The failures are just as clear. They’re the revisions that feel a whole lot like re-writes. The reader doesn’t know this happens, though. Still, when I have to re-write nearly a whole story, I’m not the easiest person to get along with. It means dumping more than 20k to 50k words. It that ain’t failing…

Yeah, so I tell stories. It’s a passion that grows within me each time my hands are idle and my mind wanders. Sometimes I find myself running to grab my super-secret notebook and adding details to a story-line I’ve yet to start working on. Then, when I’m in the writing groove and my office door is closed, I am as focused as a surgeon. For me, that’s winning. It is a tremendous victory, I tell you.

Succinctly, know what you’re doing, know how to get to where you want to be, and know what you are. Until you do those three things, you will forever measure yourself against others. The thing about that is; they WILL have had different experiences and backgrounds than you do. Oh, and success might mean something entirely different to them.

Although setbacks, stumbles, and missteps will seem hound your every effort, if you do YOUR thing to the best of your ability, you will find true measures of success.

Failure Is Not An Option

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 A Guest Post by Amanda McCarter

Success is important. It means we’re moving forward, that we’ve achieved certain goals. Winning a race or a contest, getting a contract, finishing a book, losing weight. Whatever we set out to do, we want to achieve that thing.

Failure is seen as a setback. We didn’t do it. We screwed up. It’s depressing and soul crushing. We worked so hard (or maybe not hard enough) and got nowhere.

This is the wrong way to look at failure. We need to stop seeing failures as roadblocks to success. Maybe we can look at them more as detours or perhaps the scenic route?

Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed. I just found one thousand ways that won’t work.”

Think about that. The man invented the light bulb. He didn’t just go to his shop one day and pull a light bulb out of his desk. He worked at it. He tried over and over again until something worked.

Those aren’t failures. That’s exploration and determination.

I think, as writers, each rejection, every bad review, every “close, but no cigar” of our careers is just another way of finding out what works. We’re discovering ourselves, our voices, our work patterns and ethics.

Recently, I got fired from yet another job. It was in the IT field. The six years I spent in that field, I got laid off, fired, or quit out of disgust. I hated it. So this last time, when they brought me the box and took my keys, I cried a little bit. It was frustrating.

But I learned something. That wasn’t the right field for me. I’ve since moved on to a job where I get to work with animals. I love it and I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a job this much. Every day brings something now for me.

Did I fail at IT? Maybe. Probably. But I succeeded at discovering a field that makes me happy. I took all my experiences from a job that made me miserable and found one that makes me happy.
Imagine for a moment, that we got everything we ever strived for the first time we tried. Where would that put us? Would we appreciate it as fully? Would we even try anything else? Failures, these little detours, they help us grow and learn.

So I say failure is not an option. It’s a necessity.

Get out there, skin your knees, collect those rejection letters, feel those sore muscles, scream at the scale. Whatever it is you’re working towards, embrace the failures. Each one helps you discover more about yourself and gets you one step closer to the prize, whatever it is.

Fail hard. And smile. It’ll confuse the hell out of people.

Thinking Carefully about Doing Nothing

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Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.

If you give me enough time to think about doing something, it’s a sure bet that I won’t actually do it. I’ll just think about it. Very carefully. For hours. Because that’s what I am. I’m a thinker.

While I love being a thinker, I often envy the doers. I wish I could just think “yoga” and bam! The next thing I know, I’m unrolling my purple mat and starting my first sun salutation. But instead, I’m stuck answering a barrage of questions. Is now a good time? Shouldn’t I be writing instead? What about the dog, is she going to have to go to the bathroom and interrupt me in the middle of my yoga session? Won’t I get a side ache because I just ate? Shouldn’t I be doing this before I take a shower instead of after? And so on, and so on, forever and ever amen.

So this past year, I decided to try and change all of that. I decided that whenever I thought of something I’d like to do, I’d just do it. No questions, no guilt tripping myself.

What I’ve found is that it’s more about motivation and decision instead of thinking. When I didn’t feel motivated, I simply made the decision to do it anyway. It was just that simple and just that hard. And if you’ve struggled with that like I have, then you know just how hard it can be.

It’s much easier to simply keep up your motivation. Here are a few tips and tricks in this Lifehacker article, and here are some that work for me.

1. Switching up my routine. I’m not good at keeping a routine, let’s just get that out in the open first thing. But I find my motivation is really waining when I’m doing the exact same thing I did the day before.

2. Doing something creative, but not what I’m supposed to be doing at that moment. I don’t know what it is about it, but just creating something with my hands seems to reset my brain. It helps me get my mind off of what I’m supposed to be doing, and lets my mind rest and recharge. It’s like a zen practice. Examples: crocheting or knitting, sculpting, wood carving, painting, etc. Anything where you must create something with your hands.

And If all else fails, just play this video on a loop.